I don't have to be bi-polar, my life is for me...i just have to hold on to the knot in the rope and hope it isn't the last knot! Damn though the hands get a bit chaffed for holding on sometimes. On minute life is fine and things are great, knees weak from love and heart full of happiness; then the pendulum swings and i am left wondering how it switched so fast. It can be depressing but i am doing better at coping. Stress eating has always been a crutch that i am not depending on anymore. I am relying so heavily on my faith. I do understand how people cope without faith but can be so destuctive. Drinking would feel good because for a short time at lease you are numb to pain. If things are always "darkest before the dawn" or " i can see the light at the end of the tunnel" how come i and always stuck there. I am glad Eddie is home but i am not so sure he is. He is probably just fustrated that he isn't working yet and uncertain about his future. Not working has always been hard on him. He will get through this, we all will, but i wish there was an easy way that wadding through an emotional swamp. I am so lonely for him and he is home now. I just wish we could patch up. I miss just chatting and talking about anything. i miss my friend.
The wieght loss is coming along slow and steady. It is finally starting to show that i have lost wieght. I am down 38 pounds now. I have to set some new goals. Personal and physical goals for my future.

I can't wait to go get lost with the camera now that it is home again. ....
until then..