Faith Chain Links

"Faith will fill the gap between our Theology and our Reality."  not sure where i heard that but i thought it was a fantastic picture for my head.  1 Peter 5:7 for pete's sake.  let Him bear it.  i have to have faith since i say these are the things i believe and my reality is unacceptable.  True faith will fill the dark void.  Psalm 9 : 9&10  i can only imagine through history tales what King David's life was really like, but i think i can safely say he went through stress and problem beyond my simple bearing. 

That being said then, i think i can really use his poetry & songs as rocks to lean on.  v. 9 ..."refuge for the oppressed"...maybe even the depressed.  He knows where we are physically and he knows where we are emotionally.  He will not forget us and leave us where we sit, why because we are still seeking Him not just in all this but always.  Makes sense.  Any real friend or family will gladly stick their neck out and help out, ... unless we only come around when we need something.  I trust he will carry me through again and always because i can't do this without Him. i can't do anything without Him. 

 Abraham Lincoln said, "I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that i had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day"

 It struck me this week that when all of this bottom falling started, we were a family of 4. A family that ate like one, did things like one, had holidays like one.  Now i am packing a house full of those things & we aren't that foursome anymore.  i won't be making big holiday dinners any more or even supper anymore.  How do i  downsize a kitchen to reflect that when i haven't even excepted this myself? 

In our Tuesday WOF studies, we are learning about strength.  how can i really have strength enough to face a future i hate or at the very least don't want to have happen? We read we won't be given more than we can handle.  I am not handling this well on the inside i admit, but i wish i could do a better job of it. My inner thoughts are scarier than i am admitting to.  Philippians 4 : 12 & 13.  contentment comes through the strength He gives. Earlier in the same chapter, starting around v. 4 more secrets to this are gleaned. Rejoicing, prayer, & thankfulness ... and Daddy will guard not only my heart but my mind as well.  My thoughts are currently betraying me & my heart is broken. 

 Sometimes it's hard to breathe. am i betraying my faith; or is this one of those refining fires?  No grand answers today but i am not going to stop searching.  I am going work on my bible study for the week tomorrow. Maybe i will have better insights then.  Today was just a step back, cry, regroup & ready for tomorrow.