So what happens when you are just realizing your physical limitations? Is it because of the weight or the legs problems that affect my already weak ankles? The heart is so willing to work. The desire is very there and ready to roll. I can create the energy from outside sources since even younger I didn’t ever really have much naturally. Why why why does my feet and ankles give out on me. I can’t make them stop hurting so bad. Shoes, insoles, and socks…. Is this why Daddy seems to think I don’t need another job on my feet. I would attempt 3 if someone would hire me. Eddie you said something the other night that really made me think. You said you were going to make sure I didn’t do more than I could handle and you knew that I didn’t know just what that limit was. I think Daddy is doing the same thing. But I have to get the ends to meet that aren’t doing that on their own. I am going to have to stop fretting and relearn to let this go and let Him worry about things that are obviously out of my hands.
So what happens when you are just realizing your emotional limitations? Our bible study was about relationships, friendships, family, acquaintances, or otherwise. Is it that I don’t know how to be a good friend or just that I have been gun shy too long, being burned before; possibly a bit of both. I was listening to mom talk about why she thinks she scares people off, because of living alone for all these years. My brain starting running, ok girl what do you do that scares people off. Not that I know I do, but just in case, what should I not be doing. First ADD type trait is if someone asks “how ya doing?” they really DON’T what that answered!!! Learned that one! Positive attitudes win the day. I just don’t know when it is safe to let people in. I also hope they realize being my friend means you will hear things about my crazy life but I don’t need it fixed. It is what it is and overall it is a good life. I need to have someone just listen to me blow steam once in awhile just simply for the sake of letting me blow it off the top! I need a girl to hang and have coffee/tea with, laugh with, what a movie with…I have Shell but we live so blasted far away. When I win the lottery, I am getting a lake house back home so Shell & I can hang out more often! Eddie, Mom & especially Meg are the only friends I have here in TN. They are the dearest truest of real friends too. In the last 5 years or so my little bro and i have really started becoming good friends too. My is mom right though, i think i need friendships outside of family. So I will just keep prayerfully nurturing the friends I know I have here that I haven’t let get that close and hope I find opportunities to grow closer to them; Cec, Lisa, Georgia, Roe, Kim, among others.
