I had so much fun walking around shooting pictures of jefferson county monday evening. I have really wanted to do this for awhile. There are some more bridges and barns i want to shot. I need to get a release together so i have permission to take some that are on private property. I have been encouraged to put a portfolio together. I can't wait to get started. That will be my summer project. Danny also said it would be smart to enter any photo contests i can find and gave me suggestions places to go to. I need to go haunt a few pawn shops for the lens i want for the cannon rebel, either that or put it on laway over at Camera Castle. The digital that would really be neat for professional shots is still way out of my budget but the fuji is great for what i am playing with right now. Since it is a 9 mega pixel it is a very good camera for my kind of fun. It would be a fun chore deciding what to enlarge for the portfolio.

now now meg

My daughter read the last and only post and said." Mom, your depressed aren't you?". No, Meg i don't think so. Ok i reread my post and yes it was depressive, but i don't think i am depressed. I am a bit fed up and bothered but i don't think it is depression. i have thought about it, studied it from all 7 angles. 2 of those angles are tilted and one is decidedly bent but overall it is not a depression. 

Now this is a fluid life i lead, i am going somewhere( most days i am totally lost but that's a different story entirely) and always passing though stuff and places. "...So this too shall pass", really does have a great moral lesson here. We just keep moving along. Therapy is only one more week i guess and from there we go back to the compression hose. Losing weight as well as, Ginger & i actually getting up in the evenings and going walking will defiantly help with my frustration level. Our decluttering of my closet is helping a great deal. Lets try and find a place to go swimming once a month that we can take the girls with us. I loved taking Ginger down to Panther Creek and walking the trails. I know we are all so busy but we have to try and plan something once in awhile. Otherwise we will wondering where i time went and could we really have wasted so much of it. i love you meg....i hope this blog lets you know you mommy is just fine and as silly as ever.

This is a practice sheet

This is just a practice sheet. I feel like a a constantly practicing. "ok i didn't get this right, it was just a practice run." That is never really get it right. Driving in the car, full of energy, on my way to work, my mind wanders and makes plans. This is what i am going to do when i get home, this is how this should look, i can do this or that, fix this or that, remember to do this or that. If i even get around to doing it, it is never the way i pictured it, or it takes longer than i ever thought. i have such ideas for this place in my head but i can't get them out. Maybe i am depressed or the house is depressive or both, but i don't seem to have the time or energy. These legs aren't helping. Not an excuse just a fact. I can get down on my knees in these compression wraps like i could if i were in jeans and compression hose. My mobility is limited. i should make a goal system that correlates with my weight loss goals, but since i hate goals... Well i know they are necessary but it feels like i am waving a dog biscuit in front of my nose and calling "come 'ear missy missy missy...come and get it..." When am i ever going to get it right? It just feels like i am trying to walk up a slick muddy slope, for what just to get on top, tired and exhausted. There are days that sitting at the bottom feels no different than sitting on top, or what i think i remember as sitting on top. Oh well i will get it right, fix this up, make that better one sloppy step at a time.