~sandbar~

I have caught my breath as i stand here wading off shore from the sandbar. I was beached unexpectedly last week I have spent the last few days angrily sulking with my feet the sand blaming all my troubles on the lizards that crawled over me. Peanut butter, cursed peanut butter. Not the ordinary sticky stuff from the jar either, i am talking about the Christmas confections peanut butter fudge and buckeye balls. I innocently sampled one, to be kind the the giver/cook never meaning to bite another one. I have used this tactic before. It kills the curiosity as well as being kind to the giver. I was not prepared. I was ambushed. Is there some chemical drug that is produced when you mix powdered sugar and peanut butter? I think there is, i need therapy. I was drawn back to the container like a powerless addict, more than a several times i must confess. I tried breaking off small nibblets rather than eating whole pieces of fudge. It didn't matter because i eventually ate the whole piece i was breaking from in the first place! Guilt and anger follow the binge. Mostly, I believe because i didn't see the temptation coming. i was blindsided. I am prepared to do battle with a known temptation. After anger comes defeat, sulking, and general "i-don't-care-isms". Eating habits weren't good, not horrible but definitely NOT good. The scale burps and the sand bar is comfortable. It is hard swimming against the tide.

Megan to the rescue! She pep-talked and i had a good look at my paperclips. Such long trails of them hanging from the frig. So for the rest of the day i have been wadding a little in the water off shore of the sandbar. I am rested and smarter than when i landed here. Ready to swim off and face the tide again. Swimming against this tide of weight gain is not easy but i am determined to make it to shore.