holding on....

I sit here on the floor holding
a piece of string, thread really
and this floor isn't really floor any more either.
It is an island.
An island of floor that used to be in the kitchen.
Large chunks of my grounded reality
have been knocked away
leaving me sitting here
wondering if i should just stay put or jump.
"But jump to where" my brain screams.
This colored thread is what is left
of a bright variegated rope.
My lifeline.
My heart is telling me that it is larger than it looks,
but most days all i see is a faded string
reaching all the way to heaven.
I hold on for my dear soul. 
Although this feels new and horrible,
 i sense a sort of de'ja vu. 
Have i been through this before?  Or a shadow similar to this? 
Or am a slipping out of my head?
my hand hurts.  i want to let go.
lay down an take a long nap under warm covers.
I can't.
You are strengthing the lifeline. 
Just as if feels like one strand is left,
i realize it is a rope again.
You have never left me in darkness,
even though i can't see beyond the room anymore.
it reminds me that Hope is still here.
somewhere. 
probably sitting on her own island
But i am not lost nor alone.
i refuse to budge, i refuse to lose Hope.
As achey as my resolve can be,
Faith still warms my soul. 
I have not grown cold.
And and am not hungry, Love feeds me.
i will hold on
the anchor to this thread must be buried up there,
somewhere within You
so that is why i know, i must, just hold on.