Megan turns 20 in a bit over a month & Isaac leaves home for VU shortly after that. They are not the little babes I still picture in my head.  So why with such grown kids do I still manage to miss out? Unfortunately I knew that I would miss the Hanging of the Greens at church, but I find out by text from Diana that the Youth Choir is singing. SIGH! Knowing my kids the way I do, I would bet that Isaac forgot and Megan didn’t want me to have to take a day off.  But my point is, just how many more chances do we have left to do these family things.   Looking back, I sometimes feel like I missed opportunities to squeeze more memories in.  Is this why grandparents spoil grandbabies?  Maybe it isn’t revenge but regret? Making up for time felt lost… So how much more does my parents or grandparents feel now about all this time gone, since we all live so far apart? 

They have missed so much more than us. I ache to be near my dad, Opa Jack… so I guess this longing for a child or a parent never really goes away does it? I am not simply melancholy over the holidays.  For me this started weeks and weeks ago laughing with my cousin David about family reunions past. Then came a missed call tag game that nobody won with Dad.  35 miles apart, Eddie is blogging about missing his Mom and I am trying to text my Dad without a clue what each other was doing on Thanksgiving Day.  It is all just starting to get to me. Tonight’s text from Diana about a church gathering I was already sorry to miss just tipped the scale.  I guess the “icing on the cake” is all that holiday music that fills all the radio stations this time of year complete with smells and visions of yesterday.

balance

ah indian summer has arrived just in time for thanksgiving. It is so warm and lovely outside.  i have sprouts coming up in the greenhouse, numbers going down on the scale & family time clocked!!  what more could a happy girl ask for...don't ask i have a list!  life is what you make it, though and am trying to make mine as happy as i possible can!  BRING ON THE HOLIDAYS!  i can't wait!

this means war

Declaration of War!

I hear by declare war on my poor health, my obesity and any enemies, in any form they may appear, which try to stop me from regaining a healthy body. From November 16, 2010 at 3 a.m. forward until victory has been declared, I consider myself in a state of constant warfare.

I have the Power of the Holy Trinity and all the Powers of Heaven as my allies. I have firm and resilient faith. Like King David as a young shepherd boy, I will charge at and concur this nasty Goliath before me. Upon victory I will have a healthy weight, I will have a healthy strong heart, I will have lost the excess fluid in my legs, I will have gained the physical strength I have lost and more, and my emotional state will be normally balanced. Life is not perfect and I never expect it to be but my nervous system and my emotional health will not be sabotaged or ravaged. My mouth and my teeth are a part of the whole package of my heath and a sneak attack will never be tolerated from this angle.

Warning shots have been fired by the enemy. Threats and mind games will be fully ignored hence forth. Part of my soul and willpower were taken hostage. They have been released and no more prisoners of war will be tolerated.

“You have no power over me”



grounding

ok i have tried this before, but now i have the dirt to really play with.  This is bigger than it looks and bigger than i really need.  I am hoping to plant deer and rabbit delights on the outer edges just for their pleasure.  We moved in their neighborhood, not the other way around.  So instead of fighting it, i am going to just plant for Mother Nature and her pets.  Seed packets always have more seeds than one really needs, so might as well feed the natives. It is Autumn now.  I am going to try and really plot and plan for spring.  The garden it a potters delight, but i will not let that slow me down.  i am going to gather newspapers and debris to layer on this pretty clay bed.  Earthworms will help, too after i lay down the top layers.  A girl at work thinks she knows where i might get some manure fresh from the farm. 


The greenhouse is starting to sprout little green shoots.  I have herbs, one house plant and a pepper plant started.  this picture is an early shot, i will need to take some newer ones.

i am going to put in an order for some more seeds for winter sprouting and hopefully eating.  Bulbs that have been plotting in my pea brain need to be bought and planted. Lowes has some great prices right now for spring bulbs.  Michigan Bulbs has some i would love to have but that will have to wait until next year. I am also one rehabilitating a few house plants right now. 

The suet feeder is full and ready for winter. 

autumn's beauty shines!