mud

Megan said the most profound thing to me this weekend as she held me. "Mom, it's ok to sit in the mud."  I instantly started bawling again because the reality of that statement just blew me away.  I have felt like i have been wading and trudging along in that mud for awhile now. Sometimes i get so tired.  I just never thought of just sitting down and resting.  Sunday during the main service i shut myself up in the prayer room for a bit hoping for some clarity.  Psalm 46:1-3 & 10, really the whole Psalm but what struck me when i opened up to it was verse 10, "Be still..."  Sit in the mud.  Dear James and the beginning of  his 4th chapter as well as more from the Psalms quenched my soul.  Sit in the mud.  Thank you Meg for letting me cry.  I know i will have to get back up and walk on but i think you might just be right.  how can i gain clarity and hear Daddy whisper in my soul if i am always huffing and puffing through life's swampy areas.  There is a time for everything, even resting & recuperating.  I have slipped up on all the reading i used to be doing.  It is a symptom or byproduct of frustration that has become now become the disease of not moving forward.  Attitudes can't change if i don't exercise them with healthy input. So i rest.  breathe deep.  i will move forward with cooling mud covering me & protecting me from stinging bugs of life (hopefully) for a bit.  This isn't going to change anything but i will help me move forward.  Life is just a series of landscapes, not sure what is ahead of the swamp but it's alright.  We will never have to go through these places alone.