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i have a dear friend that is hurting.  At least he used to be dear friend, but sometimes friendship slips a little if it isn't nurtured. I feel our friendship will be repaired.  He is going through a rough patch right now, both him and his wife.  we were talking the other night and i said something without thinking about it.  I think now that pearl of "wisdom" didn't come from me at all.  if i remember correctly, he was struggling to know how to handle a difficult situation. the thought came to me that maybe we are supposed to handle it at all.  maybe times like these, we walk out our faith and practice what we say we believe. maybe we aren't to handle it at all, but hand it over to Him.  really and truly hand it over to Daddy and trust Him to take care of it. 

now that i am reflecting on our conversation, i think this is a time to grow and strengthen faith.  i had a chance to talk with that wife of his.  She is a hider, a turtle shell type of girl, so i had to approach her carefully or she would get defensive and shut me out.  she surprised me.  not because she has be praying about this but the way she has been praying.  She has realized that for her to be able to deal with the stresses that are coming at her she must reinforce her bridgework. (and not her dental work, although that is on the list)  a strong foundation, she decided is the best way to keep it all together.  She is praying very detailed and ugly surgical type prayers on her character, her faults, her addictions, her demons, her unforgiveness, her anger, her hopes, her daydreams, the unknowns in her life.  she has decided that she is going to wrestle like jacob with the Lord.

she is right.  I saw her pray list.  my friend was on it, and from the looks of it, he has been for a long time.  i was touched that they we very unselfish concerns.  she is worried about him.  These two people are funny.  they remind me of that story by O'Henry, the gift of the magi.  they both want the other one to be happy and are willing to give up their own happiness for the sake of the other.  the ironic thing is they are rapidly going in circles upsetting each other by trying to do this. it might be funny if it weren't so serious.  maybe we will all laugh later. 

i think my job in all this is simple but difficult.  first i need to work on our friendship.  he needs someone to talk to and that he can count on to bounce stuff off of, and to just relax with.  we all could use someone to forget our troubles with, laugh with. His wife needs me to pull her out of her shell once in awhile, quiet walks or time together stitching like we used to do.  then i need to honestly remember them in prayer.  pray the prayer that never fails.  i also need to stay out of it.  not take sides or offer criticism.  i need to be the friend that is laughed with and ya get in trouble with.  Daddy is handling the heavy stuff not me.  i know friends need to be a great ear and shoulder but not a mouth.  i have chronic athlete's mouth.  

they are hurting and hurting each other unintentionally.  i really bothers me because i know how lost they would be without each other.