i was flipping though the radio channels this morning and tripped over The Light's broadcast of Dr. David Jeremiah. He was talking about giving everything over to Him. He was talking about getting under His Yoke and that yoke isn't the oxen kind we might think is it. I didn't hear the whole sermon but i heard enough to hear him go on about how stress free life could be if we hand it all over to Him. It really can't be that easy to walk around stress free & flip it around if i have stress am i guilty of not submitting my will to His?
i should know better, but i guess i don't. I don't think i am phony, maybe my Buddhist dad's visit is messing with me, but i don't think so. This has been slowly simmering. It might be a mix of doubt and a mix of maturity that life is not that black and white. So what now? What do i do with complex troubles and doubts? Or do i just simply let them go? Sounds too easy...and yet IF my faith were strong enough is it simply this easy?
If i were to runaway and hide from the world, i think i would find a nice Mennonite community to take me in and shelter me. Grass really looks bright green from this side but I know that's only an illusion. So I think for now I will shake off dust and resume older habits and see if this diminishes the shadows. I am going to pray more than I have been, work on my bible studies again and be more honest with Him about the Thomas-thoughts and issues I have. Sometimes I feel wrong to have them, I should know better, I do but still. How do you get back stuff lost? Not just faith-life stuff but emotional-life stuff?
Is the bible really my "easy button", Cecelia? I know, i can't believe i am airing these doubts, it's just i don't understand how things could be the way they are sometimes. Of course this could be just one of those mid-life crisis things i've always joked about.
I know it is the Advent season and not the Lenten season, but in Sunday School this week we were discussing the crucifixion. A line from one of my favorite songs won't quit running through my head. Natalie Grant's song "Held"..."Can we not wait one hour waiting for our Savior? This is what it means to be held..." I guess i hold on, sit tight and wait, but i will not be sitting still. I am going to wrestle this thing like Jacob. There is an answer and i refuse to give up without finding it.
1 comment:
quit looking for the easy button, it doesn't exist. seriously though, just because you hand everything over to Him, doesn't mean it will just get easy. it may get easier/less stressful but not likely going to be easy -- and it shouldn't be!
things that come easy aren't appreciated as much as those you need to fight for. heh, our relationship should've taught you that by now. ;j
put Him in the yoke, but just be sure you are jumping up and down on the plow to make your efforts known as well.
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